Ode to Darin’s Tummy Mama

My son, Darin, was born to me by adoption. (read about that here & here)

His birth mother was Lonnie Sue Talbot.
She loved him so much.
I know this because we have an open adoption & she spent lots of time with us. Darin was her pride & joy.

Darin was Lonnie’s first & only child. She was a single, unemployed mom, and she knew she didn’t have the resources to care for a child with Down syndrome.

But placing Darin for adoption was not easy for her. Darin was a premie & had to spend 25 days in the NICU. Lonnie continued to visit him & form a strong attachment to him during those 25 days, even though that only made their separation harder.

With our agency, there is a 6-month break between placement & a visit. During those first 6 months, Darin was in the hospital about 2 months, and Lonnie kept track of him by his baby-website. She worried about him & ached for him.

After we were reunited & began to develop our family-relationship, Lonnie was always willing to put herself out there, attending gatherings of our families & friends, to share in the joy that is Darin.

Over the past 6 years, Lonnie became our family too. We experienced the melding of families not by blood, but by love.

But last night, Lonnie died.

I miss her.

Salt-toasted Tofu

Back in the old days, we used to keep a little Vietnamese mom’n'pop restaurant called Pho Huy Tan in business.
Well, really Mike & Tammi Rice did, cuz they picked up the whole bill at least 80% of the time (which was a huge blessing, since we were living on $1000/month).

Anyway, my favorite food became Salt-toasted Tofu.
It’s got an awesome breaded-exterior like a popular non-veg comfort food.

Since Pho Huy Tan, then Mai’s, burned down, I’ve ordered Salt-toasted Tofu off-menu at every Vietnamese restaurant I’ve tried. And they always know how to make it.

So I started thinking it must be super easy & a Vietnamese basic known by all.

Now that we are Vegetarians again, I decide it’s time to learn to cook it at home.

I found this simple recipe and tried it last night.

Drain water from tofu. Wrap with paper towels and a kitchen towel, then place a pan on top. Let sit for 20 minutes.

In a large bowl, add corn starch, 2 tsp garlic granules, 1 tsp ground ginger, and 1/2 tsp salt. Toss in cubed tofu. If needed, add more corn starch so the tofu is completely covered.

Heat pan at medium high with canola oil. Cook tofu in batches, not too crowded. Some recipes call for cooking on each side for a few minutes. I cooked one side for 4 minutes, then continually stirred until all sides were golden. Place in separate bowl.

Heat pan at medium high with olive oil. Cook onions and garlic until soft, then add tofu. Toss in scallions until soft. Season if desired.

Here’s our tofu-toss. I wish I know the proportions for the dry ingredients… Taste-wise, I should have done 2-2.5 times all the seasonings for 2lbs of tofu.

It browned really great in 1/2″ of oil.

Of course, we needed white rice to eat the tofu over.


I was pretty impress with Arabella’s technique for carrying the cutting board.
She’s a huge help in the kitchen!

Final product!
It was pretty good. I need alot more green onions next time, as well as the increase in spices… I only did 1.5x for 2lbs & it was a tiny bit less flavorful than I wanted.

11 years of moments

How do you sum up 11 years of marriage?

In One Thousand Gifts-style, I’ll count beautiful moments with Joel…

• April 2000, when Joel’s confident piercing stare intimidated me during my Starbuck’s interview
• Summer 2000, which I spent in Missouri, when Joel appeared in my prayers
• Early August 2000, when my heart leapt because Tim told me Joel had become a Christian in June
• Late August 2000, when I was strangely devastated that Joel, a stranger I had only met 2-3 times, arrived at Starbucks with a girl
• Later August 2000, when I cornered him in the kitchen at a bible study, needing to understand this 2.5 month Christian had so much discernment, wisdom, & Biblical knowledge
• When we all went to IHOP after bible study, and I tried to be cool about sitting close to him…but it was totally obvious
• When Tim was arranging to go to the movies with Joel, and I wanted to tag along, so I chose “Coyote Ugly”…desperate times call for embarrassing choices
• Early Sept 2000, when he finally asked me to lunch on the way home from the Shreveport trip
• The next 9 days when we spent every moment we weren’t working at the Kettle or Denny’s, discussing the Bible, missions, life
• When we kissed for the first time at Taco Cabana on Red Bluff
• When we turned on my street, and he said, “You know we are getting married, right?”, and my heart leapt, and I said, “Yes…”
• When we were sitting by the window at the Kettle & Joel called his mom and told her we needed to come to dinner is they could meet me because we were getting married
• October 2000, when I took him to Dallas to hear the wonderful Dr John Piper and Joel understood missions the way I do
• When we discovered we were pregnant & he jokingly said, “When you pray, do you really ask God for a baby with Down syndrome?”, never fearing my dream

Those are just the moments in the 1st 6 months…

Eating well

I think this has been our most tasty, healthy eating week ever…
Joel decided to eat a vegan diet after his visit to the ER only 4 days after the 3rd anniversary of his heart attack… when he learned he now has diabetes. I am very supportive of this, since I heard Dr Fuhrman discuss curing diabetes this way a long time ago.

So most of our meals are vegan or vegetarian now.

Here’s what we ate…
Dinners

• Monday: Zucchini spaghetti and salad.
• Tuesday: Fresh Tomato Lentil Soup, oyster crackers, green beans. Smoothies for dessert.
  • Soup from The Greatest Ever Vegetarian Cookbook”… totally lives up to it’s name!
• Wednesday: Veggie fajitas (zucchini, yellow squash, mushroom) with homemade guacamole, tortilla chips, and Smoky Black Bean Soup.
• Thursday: Homemade pizza & broccoli. Joel’s gone on Thursday evenings, so we had cheese.
• Friday: Baked falafel, homemade pita, hummus, and Greek salad.
  • We did not have Greek dressing, so I googled it. Very easy recipe.
• Saturday: 15-min Vegetarian chili, corn on the cob, and rice.
• Sunday: Acorn squash with mushroom & sage, green beans, and leftovers.

Lunch

• Fresh Tomato Lentil Soup
• Butternut Squash soup with Sherried Pumpkin Seeds
• Smokey Black Bean Soup mixed with Spanish rice

Experience changes perspective

This is Arabella & her best friend Vanessa. They met in kindergarten in 2008-2009.

Everyday, Arabella would talk about Vanessa, and at each school party, they would beg to get together outside school.

When Arabella is with Vanessa, she doesn’t have special needs. She is a peer. Vanessa’s high expectations are better than any therapy. Arabella’s self-care skills improve leaps & bounds. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

Back in 2009, Vanessa asked me if Holden (my son without Down syndrome) was adopted….because he looked different from Arabella & Darin (Darin is adopted). We explained Down syndrome and she said she knew, her mom told her, but you could tell it didn’t matter to her.

Vanessa also told me that at Kindergarten Graduation, people thought she & Arabella were twins.

Four years have passed. Arabella and Vanessa go to different schools, and live 30 mins apart. Sometimes I worry Vanessa will outgrow her friendship with Arabella, while Arabella still adores her.

But that’s not my choice. So when Arabella asks (or when she asks everyday), I eventually initiate with Vanessa’s mom, to arrange a playdate. It’s up to Vanessa to determine if she’s outgrown Arabella.

This weekend, Vanessa came to spend the night…and the bond was as awesome as ever. Vanessa wrote “Arabella is my best friend” on a coloring page & read the things Arabella couldn’t understand to her. And they made Camp Rock reference & talked about Justin Beiber.

It brought joy to Arabella. It brought joy to me.

As the weekend ended, Vanessa said, “Arabella wouldn’t like to go to my school.”
I said, “Why?”
She said, “They have a separate room for them. And they are very mean to them. They yell at them.”

I knew who she meant. I knew she had encountered the “other” view of kids like Arabella.

So, I told her that most schools had those rooms. But that I didn’t let them put Arabella in there…
That I fought for her to be in a class with kids like Vanessa.

And I was filled with hope.
Because Vanessa will never be a mom, a teacher, an aunt, a friend who ignores the oppression of a person with Down syndrome.

She has truly known Arabella as a friend with Down syndrome.

Fully fund an international Down syndrome adoption EVERY month for $10? Why yes, I will do that!

Oh my gosh! I am so excited!

Have you ever wondered, “How can (this problem) be solved?”?

Over & over, I am learning the answer: One simple step at a time!

——————
I was invited to be a part of HUGE but simple solution yesterday, and I am spinning with joy today!

Problem:
International adoption is expensive! In addition to travel cost, the government & social work costs are very high.

Solutions:

• For kids with Down syndrome, a partial solution has existed for several years called Reece’s Rainbow. It is a website that helps people work together to adopt kids with Down syndrome by creating an adoption account that people can donate or fundraise to before & while the child is waiting to be found by their forever family.
  This system helps families to enter the adoption process with a much lower personal cost.

If the adoption account has donations…

That’s why it is a partial solution.

Here’s the AMAZING idea that was started yesterday!

• A Facebook group called Ransoming Angels!
  This group will unite 2500 people to fully fund 1 Reece’s Rainbow child per month. By each person contributing $10/month, we can clear the financial barriers to international adoption for a specific child each month!

With the combined efforts of Reece’s Rainbow & Ransoming Angels, we can open doors!

Ransoming Angels has 461 members in 2 days… Consider joining us to get 2500 members & fully fund our first adoption!

Gotcha day! One 5-year old orphan is with his forever family!

The Kehm’s, mentioned in several other posts, celebrated “Gotcha Day” today!
After 1 month in Ukraine & a 10-day waiting period after court, they are the permanent parents of Peter Julian Kehm!

We can change the world, one child at a time!

More adoption updates!

1. The Foster’s baby boy was due… but he is holding out til tomorrow! Read more here to see about their long wait and heartbreaks along the way… This week, the Foster’s spent 1 day with baby Matthew, then his birthmother decided not to place him for adoption. This is a very sad , hard loss for them. After 8 days, birthmother called the Foster’s and signed Matthew over to them. Please pray for her broken loving heart.
2. The Kehm’s are finally in the Ukraine to pick up Ty & Peter from an orphanage! Hopefully, they will see the boys tomorrow (for the first time in person!) but they may still be away from home (& 2 more kids) for 3-6 weeks. Lots of prayers! Julie & Cameron have made it to Ukraine to meet the boys… But have been informed Ty cannot be adopted. So sad. There are still 2 weeks of formalities before they bring Peter home. Please pray! Continue to pray for the Kehm’s… They’ve been away from home 13 days already… & are hoping for a court date this Wednesday. Then they will have a 10 day waiting period before they can bring Peter home. That’s a long time away from their other kids… & they will miss Christmas here.

Adoptions today, tomorrow, this month!

Today has been a joyful, anxious, prayerful day on behalf of several friends. Adoption is an exercise in NO CONTROL!

Maybe I can let them steal your heart too, so you will pray:

1. The Foster’s baby boy was due… but he is holding out til tomorrow! Read more here to see about their long wait and heartbreaks along the way…
2. The Williston’s waited today for a tummy mama to sign over her rights, so they can begin parenting tiny baby Levi Nicholas tomorrow.
3. The Kehm’s are finally in the Ukraine to pick up Ty & Peter from an orphanage! Hopefully, they will see the boys tomorrow (for the first time in person!) but they may still be away from home (& 2 more kids) for 3-6 weeks. Lots of prayers!

Adoption is a long process requiring enduring faith.
We need people that will hold us up as we get tired!

I have 3 others who are not so close to the finish line!
Please beg our Father to bring their babies home:

1. The Puckett’s have been working on adopting Peterson since Summer 2010. He still lives in Haiti, far from home.
2. The Barlow’s are praying for the next step in their approval process to be completed this month. They are trying to get to Bulgaria to pick up Heaven as soon as possible!
3. The Clarkson’s are praying for a little girl in Ukraine, that God will make a way for her to join their family.

A sneak peek

I’m not ready to put our Christmas pics on Facebook… hoping to actually mail out cards this year! But here’s one that didn’t make it on the card…