Ode to Darin’s Tummy Mama

My son, Darin, was born to me by adoption. (read about that here & here)

His birth mother was Lonnie Sue Talbot.
She loved him so much.
I know this because we have an open adoption & she spent lots of time with us. Darin was her pride & joy.

Darin was Lonnie’s first & only child. She was a single, unemployed mom, and she knew she didn’t have the resources to care for a child with Down syndrome.

But placing Darin for adoption was not easy for her. Darin was a premie & had to spend 25 days in the NICU. Lonnie continued to visit him & form a strong attachment to him during those 25 days, even though that only made their separation harder.

With our agency, there is a 6-month break between placement & a visit. During those first 6 months, Darin was in the hospital about 2 months, and Lonnie kept track of him by his baby-website. She worried about him & ached for him.

After we were reunited & began to develop our family-relationship, Lonnie was always willing to put herself out there, attending gatherings of our families & friends, to share in the joy that is Darin.

Over the past 6 years, Lonnie became our family too. We experienced the melding of families not by blood, but by love.

But last night, Lonnie died.

I miss her.

Experience changes perspective

This is Arabella & her best friend Vanessa. They met in kindergarten in 2008-2009.

Everyday, Arabella would talk about Vanessa, and at each school party, they would beg to get together outside school.

When Arabella is with Vanessa, she doesn’t have special needs. She is a peer. Vanessa’s high expectations are better than any therapy. Arabella’s self-care skills improve leaps & bounds. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

Back in 2009, Vanessa asked me if Holden (my son without Down syndrome) was adopted….because he looked different from Arabella & Darin (Darin is adopted). We explained Down syndrome and she said she knew, her mom told her, but you could tell it didn’t matter to her.

Vanessa also told me that at Kindergarten Graduation, people thought she & Arabella were twins.

Four years have passed. Arabella and Vanessa go to different schools, and live 30 mins apart. Sometimes I worry Vanessa will outgrow her friendship with Arabella, while Arabella still adores her.

But that’s not my choice. So when Arabella asks (or when she asks everyday), I eventually initiate with Vanessa’s mom, to arrange a playdate. It’s up to Vanessa to determine if she’s outgrown Arabella.

This weekend, Vanessa came to spend the night…and the bond was as awesome as ever. Vanessa wrote “Arabella is my best friend” on a coloring page & read the things Arabella couldn’t understand to her. And they made Camp Rock reference & talked about Justin Beiber.

It brought joy to Arabella. It brought joy to me.

As the weekend ended, Vanessa said, “Arabella wouldn’t like to go to my school.”
I said, “Why?”
She said, “They have a separate room for them. And they are very mean to them. They yell at them.”

I knew who she meant. I knew she had encountered the “other” view of kids like Arabella.

So, I told her that most schools had those rooms. But that I didn’t let them put Arabella in there…
That I fought for her to be in a class with kids like Vanessa.

And I was filled with hope.
Because Vanessa will never be a mom, a teacher, an aunt, a friend who ignores the oppression of a person with Down syndrome.

She has truly known Arabella as a friend with Down syndrome.

Fully fund an international Down syndrome adoption EVERY month for $10? Why yes, I will do that!

Oh my gosh! I am so excited!

Have you ever wondered, “How can (this problem) be solved?”?

Over & over, I am learning the answer: One simple step at a time!

——————
I was invited to be a part of HUGE but simple solution yesterday, and I am spinning with joy today!

Problem:
International adoption is expensive! In addition to travel cost, the government & social work costs are very high.

Solutions:

• For kids with Down syndrome, a partial solution has existed for several years called Reece’s Rainbow. It is a website that helps people work together to adopt kids with Down syndrome by creating an adoption account that people can donate or fundraise to before & while the child is waiting to be found by their forever family.
  This system helps families to enter the adoption process with a much lower personal cost.

If the adoption account has donations…

That’s why it is a partial solution.

Here’s the AMAZING idea that was started yesterday!

• A Facebook group called Ransoming Angels!
  This group will unite 2500 people to fully fund 1 Reece’s Rainbow child per month. By each person contributing $10/month, we can clear the financial barriers to international adoption for a specific child each month!

With the combined efforts of Reece’s Rainbow & Ransoming Angels, we can open doors!

Ransoming Angels has 461 members in 2 days… Consider joining us to get 2500 members & fully fund our first adoption!

Gotcha day! One 5-year old orphan is with his forever family!

The Kehm’s, mentioned in several other posts, celebrated “Gotcha Day” today!
After 1 month in Ukraine & a 10-day waiting period after court, they are the permanent parents of Peter Julian Kehm!

We can change the world, one child at a time!

More adoption updates!

1. The Foster’s baby boy was due… but he is holding out til tomorrow! Read more here to see about their long wait and heartbreaks along the way… This week, the Foster’s spent 1 day with baby Matthew, then his birthmother decided not to place him for adoption. This is a very sad , hard loss for them. After 8 days, birthmother called the Foster’s and signed Matthew over to them. Please pray for her broken loving heart.
2. The Kehm’s are finally in the Ukraine to pick up Ty & Peter from an orphanage! Hopefully, they will see the boys tomorrow (for the first time in person!) but they may still be away from home (& 2 more kids) for 3-6 weeks. Lots of prayers! Julie & Cameron have made it to Ukraine to meet the boys… But have been informed Ty cannot be adopted. So sad. There are still 2 weeks of formalities before they bring Peter home. Please pray! Continue to pray for the Kehm’s… They’ve been away from home 13 days already… & are hoping for a court date this Wednesday. Then they will have a 10 day waiting period before they can bring Peter home. That’s a long time away from their other kids… & they will miss Christmas here.

Adoptions today, tomorrow, this month!

Today has been a joyful, anxious, prayerful day on behalf of several friends. Adoption is an exercise in NO CONTROL!

Maybe I can let them steal your heart too, so you will pray:

1. The Foster’s baby boy was due… but he is holding out til tomorrow! Read more here to see about their long wait and heartbreaks along the way…
2. The Williston’s waited today for a tummy mama to sign over her rights, so they can begin parenting tiny baby Levi Nicholas tomorrow.
3. The Kehm’s are finally in the Ukraine to pick up Ty & Peter from an orphanage! Hopefully, they will see the boys tomorrow (for the first time in person!) but they may still be away from home (& 2 more kids) for 3-6 weeks. Lots of prayers!

Adoption is a long process requiring enduring faith.
We need people that will hold us up as we get tired!

I have 3 others who are not so close to the finish line!
Please beg our Father to bring their babies home:

1. The Puckett’s have been working on adopting Peterson since Summer 2010. He still lives in Haiti, far from home.
2. The Barlow’s are praying for the next step in their approval process to be completed this month. They are trying to get to Bulgaria to pick up Heaven as soon as possible!
3. The Clarkson’s are praying for a little girl in Ukraine, that God will make a way for her to join their family.

A sneak peek

I’m not ready to put our Christmas pics on Facebook… hoping to actually mail out cards this year! But here’s one that didn’t make it on the card…

A sweet surprise

Going through Holden’s papers from school tonight, I spotted the word “Mom”…
I found 2 treasures:
1. This feather for the Thanksgiving turkey with what he was thankful for.

2. This paragraph.

My mom Heather
Heather, my mom, is my best friend and is a great person.
My mom plays with me. She feeds me and she has blue eyes. She loves popcorn and most important she loves God and is a Christian.

The one that got away

You may be wondering, as I do several posts in a row about other people’s adoptions, how this all relates to me:

1. The obvious: Darin, my precious present, God brought us by adoption.

2. The memory: Jean-Roni, the one that got away.
Last summer in Haiti, Karen, Amanda, & I took care of Jean-Roni. He was a tiny, malnourished baby boy who came into the Real Hope for Haiti clinic while we were visiting.
We cared for him day & night for the majority of our trip.
We were told that he would not live at the size, age, and progression of his malnourishment.
And so don’t get attached.

That didn’t work.

So we dreamed & calculated how to bring him home with us.

But when we left, he stayed.
And 35 days later, while my arms still ached for him, Jean-Roni died.

We must fight everyday to save AS MANY CHILDREN AS WE CAN.
Our humanity requires this.

Bring Heaven home!

There’s another Houston family working on adopting a child with Down syndrome!

I met Nancy at a recent DSAH conference & learned about Heaven!

They are in the early fundraising & approval stages but already have a giveaway that ends 11/30/11.
Donate $10+ & you will be entered to win!

Go here!