Educating Arabella… God is good, all the time

Last summer, after I had made plans to homeschool Arabella, we moved to Deer Park.
We moved to Deer Park since we had planted The Basilica Community in the Pasadena/Deer Park area in 2006. We spent 2 years commuting to spend time with our churchfolk, and finally realized that we needed to be “in the midst” of our community. So, we tried to sell, and eventually rented, our little bungalow in downtown Houston, and found a rent house in Deer Park.
Of course, God found the rent house… Joel just drove the street to see the sign. It had a playhouse/swingset already, 3 bedrooms, 2 livingrooms and hardwoods. I still love it – a whole year later.
And at the end of our 1-block street is San Jacinto Elementary.
I didn’t know anything about San Jacinto Elementary. But the 2nd week of homeschooling Holden, I enrolled him in school… cuz I was not keeping up with his need for learning, and my full-time job. And I learned that SJE was a really organized, nice school.
What I still didn’t know was this: They have kids with Down syndrome in 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th grade. Down syndrome is their most well know disability.
But God knew this.
So, in November, Arabella started assessments, and I prepared for an ARD (the committee meeting to plan her “specialized” curriculum). I have heard horror stories about ARDS for 7 years, so I was nervous and took my husband, Arabella’s former principal, and my mom as back up.
But the committee agreed to my ideas. Arabella, already 7 yrs old (although she was 6 yrs on Sept 1) was allowed to spend the day in a Kindergarten class.
Arabella spent this spring in Kindergarten, and gained alot of ground. She was finally able to retain her alphabet and match numbers to items when counting.

So, I went back to ARD in May with hope. I decided, based on wise words from another parent, to think outside the box that Arabella’s peers have been educated in.
You see, as far as I know, most of Arabella’s 7 yr old DS friends went into 1st grade last year.
And this year they will be in 2nd grade. Regardless if they can read, or not.
This did not make sense to me. If Arabella cannot read in a class that is reading information to do their assignments, she will have 2 choices:
1. Be a distraction to the other kids.
2. Be quiet and color while other kids do their work – then do her work in another setting (ie. pull out classroom/resources).
So, I decided to ask for Arabella to be placed in the classroom where all the kids are learning to read – Kindergarten (again).

While the ARD committee was surprised, and had to call a recess so that the principal could attend, they agreed that this made sense.

I feel very good about this! Fortunately (or thankfully by God’s planning), Arabella is only the size of a Kindergartener, so she blends in great.
Now I just have to minimize her telling everyone that on September 11 she will be 8 yrs old!

It all began with Arabella

When I reflect on my current life, so much of what I do, how I see the world, is based on my little Arabella. She is in so many ways my reference point.

Arabella burst into the picture on September 11, 2001. With her birth, I became a mom… something I had wanted my entire life. And in a moment, my heart was tied to that girl.
The first night of her life is so special to me… like a gift from God. For Arabella was born with a congenital heart defect and spent the 2nd through 18th nights of her life in the NICU of Texas Children’s Hospital.

But not the first night. That first night, she and I were alone in a hospital room, with me learning to be her mother. I remember moving her in and out of the bassinet each time I needed to go to the restroom… and then back into bed with me as soon as I got back.
She wasn’t demanding this – she didn’t cry at all.
But I couldn’t resist. I wanted her near me.
And I pretty much laid awake all night, so that the nurses wouldn’t check on me and suggest she go to the nursery.

And in retrospect, I think that night helped me have hope and connection through the next 3 weeks. I knew that I could be her mom and that we would eventually get to go home and be a family.

Arabella was a spectacularly beautiful baby (after the first week or so). This turns out to be common among babies with Down syndrome. They have very sweet, well-proportioned faces, not large unbalanced heads like typically-developing babies. Maybe this is a part of God’s plan to make sure we (parents of children with DS) become extra attached to our children.

Arabella had a rough, rough 1st year – 3 surgeries, a feeding tube, etc. – but those are such distance memories. Like the 1st year of a marriage, all I remember is that it wasn’t perfect, but I can’t really remember why…

As Arabella grew, she began to show a special ability to touch certain people. Not everyone. Not the normal crowd. But the lonely, the person on the fringe who it’s asking for attention. It reminds me so much of Jesus.

Now Arabella is 7 yrs old. She has spent 6 safe, to-easily-taken-for-granted years at a private school just for kids with Down syndrome and their siblings. And she graduated.

Now my real job has begun:

To present Arabella to the world and help them to perceive her beauty.

This is much more emotionally straining than I anticipated. I am a lot more sensitive than I thought I would be.

I want to catalog my journey through this here.

So, the starting point is Fall 2008… I didn’t enroll Arabella in school after she graduated from Rise… I felt like the Lord told me to homeschool her, but since He did not provide a way for me to quit my job, I feel like I was only suppose to do this to learn about the next step: helping a school educate Arabella.

I have learned a lot this fall:
1. I can’t get enough repetition in since I only get to do school with her Monday & Friday… and she needs more, not less, repetition of each concept than a typical kid.
2. She is ready for bigger concepts than I thought. Through testing/assessments, I have been told that she is functioning/learning at a 4 yr old level (she was 7 yrs old on 9/11/08)… but she is learning pretty well the same concepts Holden (my 5 yr old Kindergartener) is learning. She is not retaining them as easily… which makes #2 more important.

So, I went to the public elementary that Holden goes to at the end of our street, and have had 2 assessments with Arabella.

Balancing

I am going back and forth on educating Arabella and Holden.
One day I am set on homeschooling, looking forward to the time together, the opportunity to teach them, and uncomplicate our life.
The next day, I think, "who am I kidding!" I'll never be organized enough to teach them. Their lifes will be chaotic.

Last week, I planned to go on Thursday to just talk to my local school (in a district know for excelling in Special Ed) about Arabella. But I knew there were factors they could not guarantee: mainly, how good of an Aide she would have.
Then Wed, her Speech Therapist invite Arabella to join a 3-day per week class with 5 other kids @ her center, to supplement her homeschooling. It sounds like it will offer just what I was looking for at school – a routine, consistent interactions with other kids, and obedience to another teacher.
I am so thankful for this super-affordable option, 1/2-way between homeschool and school. I'll still do the academics, pick the curriculum, but I'll have some time to reorganize between our at-home school days.

So that just leaves Holden. My sweet Holden. I have lots of guilt about last year. I pulled him out of The Rise School for Pre-K, to try the public Montessori magnet in our old school district, Wilson Elementary. It was a fine arts school, so I thought it would be good for him, but the timing was really about checking it out for Arabella for this coming year.
He missed Rise a lot. Then at the end of the 2nd semester, we moved him to Veritas Christian Academy. He wanted to learn about God, we wanted him to be trained in righteousness, and we knew by then that Wilson Elementary was not going to be a good fit for Arabella.
Holden did great @ Veritas. It was a great little school.

But now that we moved, Veritas is not an option. It's in Bellaire….
We are in Deer Park. It has an 8am arrival with $5 tardies…. We would have to leave home @ 7am to be on time.

So, no matter what, Holden's doing something new. And he doesn't even turn 5 until August 23rd.
At the end of the school year, he was excited about homeschooling….
Now he's asking for school. But he's not the Boss, so I have to decide.

Yikes!

Homeschooling

God has laid it on my heart to homeschool Arabella and Holden next year.
It’s kinda weird because, when I felt like homeschooling might be my only option for Holden (at Christmas time), I didn’t want to do it. Then we found Veritas Christian Academy for Holden, and I started talking with them about Arabella attending there.
I remember feeling like I’d be devastated if Veritas didn’t let Arabella attend there.
Then Arabella started her 3 visitation days at Veritas. And I began to realize that I wanted the privilege I was trying to convince them they wanted – to teach my angel. And I realized that I am looking forward to spending lots of time with Bella as best girls in the post-school years… And I don’t want to get there and find her life has been wasted and she has been hurt.
Then I started getting excited. I almost didn’t send her to her 3rd visit to Veritas, except that I hadn’t worked out logistics.
So when last Monday Veritas told me they did not think they are a good fit for Arabella, I said, “I agree!”

SIMPLIFY
I’ve been wanting to simplify my life for awhile, mainly, so I can be better at the important things:

• Being Joel’s wife
• training my children
• ministering through Basilica

While I think I will be busy homeschooling, I will not be fitting training the children into the last 3, tired, hours of the day.

Educating an angel

So, for those of you who don’t have experience with children with disabilities, education is a huge source of stress for parents.
Arabella has been at The Rise School for 6 years – since she was 1 yr old. And I really haven’t had to put energy into planning or worrying about curriculum. Rise is for kids with Down syndrome – and they know way more than I do – plus, they love her too.

But in July, Arabella will be done there. So, I have had alot of anxiety over the next place for her to learn. During the month of Dec 2007, I was pretty sure I couldn’t find a place I approved of, and I would have to quit work and homeschool – not really ideal for socialization, but a guarantee that she would be loved all day.
Then the day before the Christmas holidays, we found this amazing Christian school for Holden, called Veritas Christian Academy, where Ms. Streger, Bill’s mom teaches Pre-K. It fits us so well – small school, missional values… we love it.
And from our first visit, they didn’t run from the possibility of discussing Arabella coming there next year.

So, I’ve had one meeting with the headmaster – very good.
Yesterday, Arabella’s Rise School teacher and I had a meeting with the kindergarten teacher at Veritas. It went well. She was open and honest about their apprehensions – mainly, can they meet Arabella’s educational needs correctly?

But these meetings always make me want to cry…
Where else in life do you sit down to talk about the things about you that are unfamiliar and awkward to someone else? It’s just a weird situation.