On my relationship with God…

My friend Tiffany posted an interesting challenge to explore our relationship with God, rather than just Christian-pop culture topics in our blogs. So people can learn and grow together. Here’s my shot…
I am on a continuous roller-coaster ride in my relating to God. He is steady. I am anything but steady. Over the past year, I can see Him more. Why doesn’t this make me trust Him more?
I think I have a tidal relationship – or bi-polar – whichever analogy suits you more. I will vigorously pursue Him, seek discipline, pray, trust – then one day, I will forget it all. Not on purpose, just not with purpose seeking Him.
I confess this is the state of my last month.
May and June were the close part of our relationship. I clung to Him in the midst of chaos and He, of course, sustained me and showed me the abundant life that comes within His plan. Not financial or material abundance. Peace.
Then July became busy. And routine. Sometimes I think I need chaos and uncertainty to drive me to God. Did I just write that? I don’t think I really want to say that.
Anyway, right now, I am trying to return to discipline to bring back the closeness. I don’t know “theologically” what support there is for this idea, but I think that you need to discipline yourself to pursue God. That way, whether you “feel” like being a Christian, you will still honor Him.
Right now, it’s not that I don’t want to pursue God, I just feel distracted. For example, I went to pray on Sunday, and the phone rang. Shouldn’t have answered it, but I hate returning calls. Then, once the call was over, I forgot to go back to praying.
I think I need structure to my praying and bible study. I need a particular time set aside for it. I am asking God to help me find this order. I don’t know where it should go. I just know it MUST be there. I miss it.

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5 responses to “On my relationship with God…

  1. thanks for sharing about what God is doing in your life. i constantly feel like i’m on a rollercoaster as well. it is hard to put into words sometimes… but God is amazing and faithful.

  2. I totally know what you mean about focus getting lost in the day to day routine of life. I too have often reflected on life and times that I have pursued God the most diligently and it really does seem to be when life is the most tumultuous. It is a scary and sobering thing to realize.
    It has only been in the past year that has started to change some. It has been slow coming about, but very good. God is very good.

    Wow, the second blog post to reference mine….I’m starting to feel rather guilty I haven’t posted since then. 🙂

  3. “Sometimes I think I need chaos and uncertainty to drive me to God.”

    i can definitely relate. i think it’s easy to praise and focus on Him when everything’s going great, but then i also think that it’s in those times when it’s also easy to fall hard because we take it for granted or think we’re in such good shape to not have or need to “focus” as much. i dunno. that’s how i’ve seen it get for me anyway.

    i’ve found that it’s in the times that i set Him aside and try to take things on on my own that i fall hard. then He picks me up, reminds me everything is out of my control, that He’ll take care of it all, to have faith…and then i feel peace.

    sometimes i find myself praying, ‘God make me stumble…break me when my all and everything i do isn’t for You…so that You pick me up and i see You’re the one and only one who can save me. and that everything i do and all i am is for Your glory.”

    <3

  4. Chester Copperpot

    how bout a new post already?

  5. i like your banner! 🙂

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