Moments after my last post, I experience a great sense of loss… first, I was referred to a blog through my good friend Kevin – the blog of a mom who has suffered the loss of a child. And as I was reading her amazingly-vulnerable post about the grieving of this loss, I received a phone call. Here is the story of the phone call:
About a month ago, I went to the home of one of my participant’s for my work. I visit each of them Quarterly, but I didn’t really need to do this visit, because this young man was leaving my program at the end of the month. So, there wasn’t really any point in the visit, except to have the paperwork in my file showing that I did my job.
I have only been to this home once before, in January with my boss, who was the previous Case Manager. I didn’t know anything about the family outside of the stories told by pictures on the wall.
On this particular day in April, I arrived after school was out, so I could meet the son (my participant). And as I arrived, his older sister was getting ready to leave the house, moving between the kitchen and the living room. I had seen her in the pictures on the prior visit, but had not met her… and I wasn’t sure of her age.
But looking at the pictures on the wall, I thought she was in high school or early college. And I noticed she was pregnant.
I made small talk, asking some silly question I can’t recall. And mom said, “Yeah, she looks a little different than in that picture, since she is very pregnant.” I said, “I noticed that. How far along?” since it seemed like an obvious observations. But the next part of the conversation was amazing.
Mom replied, “She is 36 weeks. And she is giving the baby up for adoption.”
Immediately, I realized that they had just shared some sacred information with me. They looked anxious to see a reaction.
I asked, “What agency will you be using?”
And what they shared touched my heart. Through the youth minister at their church, they had found New Life, our adoption agency. The daughter left for her doctor’s appointment, and mom shared the journey to this point in life. It is too private to fully reveal here, but I will share the ending. Mom said, “We got to meet the to-be adoptive parents yesterday. Here is their profile.” And she showed me pictures of 2 people I know from a previous job, a beautiful Christian couple I had known to be shattered by infertility, and trusting God to bring them a child through adoption. I was so excited.
I went home and emailed the potential adoptive mom, my former co-worker. I shared our adoption stories, the adventure of loving and losing Brooklyn, and the beautiful relationship development with Darin’s mom. And we emailed a few times that day.
Jump forward to today:
So my (former) participant’s mom just called to share the rest of the story with me. First of all, I feel blessed to receive that phone call. Second, here is the beauty:
On last Friday, May 12, at full-term, the birthmom decided she wanted to be induced to deliver the baby. Her totally unselfish goal in this date was to hand over the new baby after the mandatory 48-hour waiting period on Sunday = MOTHER’s DAY.
In the midst of making the hardest decision of her life, this beautiful girl THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE! It is amazing. I can’t imagine that clarity, that love.
Please pray for her now, as she cries to sleep for the past two nights, with arms that long for a baby she has given as a gift to my friends. Pray for her as she graduates, and goes to college, with a secret loss that she is too ashamed to share with those around her.
The gift of your child is the biggest sacrifice you could give someone. God gave his for me.