Category Archives: Darin

Feeling stupid not generalizing

So this week, I had 2 typical experiences in new settings in close enough time, that they shined light on each other….

  1. Darin went to day camp and got in lots of trouble the 1st day. Then I figured out he didn’t have 1-on-1 support, that was added, and he was able to continue with daycamp.
  2. We tried putting Darin in a class at church, so we could listen to the sermon, and he lasted 10 mins… and Joel missed the rest of the service sitting in the hall with him.

And it clicked for me:
Church is the only setting where we try to put him in a class without 1-on-1 support, pretending in that setting he is typical.
We don’t do it at school, or day camp, or VBS.
But week after week, we are shocked it goes terrible at church.

Unfortunately, this realization was not accompanied by a solution.

Interestingly, the sermon at the church we visited today was about Act 6:1-13, where the 1st church had to address unmet needs within the church.

I wish this didn’t feel like a unique need that not everyone shares. I don’t want to be the one with the need.

What are other special needs kids doing within small churches?

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Our adoption stories

Here are the stories of our adoption:

  1. When Darin joined our family
  2. Making adjustments for Darin
  3. Ode to Darin’s birth mother
  4. Missing Darin’s birth mother

Adoption in movies

One of my favorite thing in movies is seeing adoption as a subplot, not the focus.

I appreciate this since it normalizes adoption, decreasing the stigma that family is blood and adoption is weird.

Some of my favorites are:

But I recently saw a Facebook post by my friend Nancy that added another perspective to the adoption movie conversation:
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At first, I was confused. I also have an adopted child, and love Despicable Me.

But then I thought about Hannah’s experience of being in a orphanage.

I realized that while I love that society can see adoption stories in movie, parts of the stories may be too close to home for a child joining a new family.

Always good to gain perspective!

Can you help?

Little Josiah, mentioned in my previous post, is being united with his forever family, the Jobes, right now.
And while they are in Eastern Europe, they are working on bringing another DS angel into their family.

Watch Josiah (Cohen) with his mama

Watch Josiah (Cohen) with his mama

 

Consider helping them rescue Linden!

Click on this picture to help them rescue Linden!

 

Missing you is all I have

Tonight was Darin’s Rise School graduation.
All of my children have attended there… starting in 2002.

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Tonight was a night that should have included Darin’s Tummy-mama.

I missed having her there.

Noticing her absence is all I’ve got.

What do you do with this kind of information?

As you know, my son Darin is 6 yrs (& 11 months) and has Down syndrome.

Recently, the collaboration called the Ten for Orphans Project focused on Josiah, a little boy with Down syndrome very close to my son’s age. The goal of the project is to get LOTS of people to donate a small amount ($10) to fully pay for the adoption of one child each month.

But we didn’t have enough people. So Josiah is still waiting.

A family has committed to adopt Josiah, and so they are working on raising funds.

As they did this, I was sent links to 2 stories about Josiah:

So here’s my question:

Do you avoid information like this?

Because this is only 1 story out of orphanages full of kids. Do you think it is isolated? Is Josiah the only sitting in the corner rocking, using diapers after he was potty-trained for convenience, losing his personality?

Do you avoid information like this because you feel powerless?

I think so.

STOP.

JOIN THE FIGHT. 

1. Start by offering your prayers, the cries of your heart to our Lord on behalf of the orphans. Beg him to send a family to rescue them. Beg him to change the culture of Eastern Europe that makes parenting these children impossible. Beg him to show YOU what you can do.

2. Join us at the Ten for Orphans Project on Facebook and allow yourself to read the stories of the kids we are fighting for. Don’t insulate yourself for reality.

 All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. – Leo Tolstoy

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ – Matt 25:34-36

Ode to Darin’s Tummy Mama

My son, Darin, was born to me by adoption. (read about that here & here)

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His birth mother was Lonnie Sue Talbot.
She loved him so much.
I know this because we have an open adoption & she spent lots of time with us. Darin was her pride & joy.

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Darin was Lonnie’s first & only child. She was a single, unemployed mom, and she knew she didn’t have the resources to care for a child with Down syndrome.

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But placing Darin for adoption was not easy for her. Darin was a premie & had to spend 25 days in the NICU. Lonnie continued to visit him & form a strong attachment to him during those 25 days, even though that only made their separation harder.

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With our agency, there is a 6-month break between placement & a visit. During those first 6 months, Darin was in the hospital about 2 months, and Lonnie kept track of him by his baby-website. She worried about him & ached for him.

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After we were reunited & began to develop our family-relationship, Lonnie was always willing to put herself out there, attending gatherings of our families & friends, to share in the joy that is Darin.

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Over the past 6 years, Lonnie became our family too. We experienced the melding of families not by blood, but by love.

But last night, Lonnie died.

I miss her.