Category Archives: Parent

Feeling stupid not generalizing

So this week, I had 2 typical experiences in new settings in close enough time, that they shined light on each other….

  1. Darin went to day camp and got in lots of trouble the 1st day. Then I figured out he didn’t have 1-on-1 support, that was added, and he was able to continue with daycamp.
  2. We tried putting Darin in a class at church, so we could listen to the sermon, and he lasted 10 mins… and Joel missed the rest of the service sitting in the hall with him.

And it clicked for me:
Church is the only setting where we try to put him in a class without 1-on-1 support, pretending in that setting he is typical.
We don’t do it at school, or day camp, or VBS.
But week after week, we are shocked it goes terrible at church.

Unfortunately, this realization was not accompanied by a solution.

Interestingly, the sermon at the church we visited today was about Act 6:1-13, where the 1st church had to address unmet needs within the church.

I wish this didn’t feel like a unique need that not everyone shares. I don’t want to be the one with the need.

What are other special needs kids doing within small churches?

“Hours” in your main job = mothering

I’ve been a working-outside-the-home mom for most of my mothering years. Each of my kids was blessed to go to the best preschool, The Rise School of Houston, at 1 year old, & I could go to work while they were there 8:30-2:30.

Paying jobs require a certain “commitment”. If it’s an hourly job, it’s a set of hours to receive pay. If it’s a project-based job, like my business Adaptive Communication Devices, it’s setting aside time to do whatever is due this week.

Mothering seems to have a much more “flexible” commitment. It’s harder to measure if you get more return on your investment (the lives of your kids) if you put in 40 hours of dishes, or skip it all to read a book… It’s an endless project without a due date, and you aren’t told exactly how your “compensation” will be adjusted for each neglected or added task

So, honestly, I’ve never been near as good at, or faithful to do my mothering as I am my case management job or my business.
I never settled on a list of tasks to hold myself to.

Then I decided to homeschool Holden. And I have a mark to exceed: the education he was receiving at Veritas. I didn’t keep him home to save money or waste his time. I kept him home to shape him, to teach him in specialized way designed for him.

This has been so GOOD for my mothering overall. It has given me a standard for what I do with him. And since I love all 3 kids, it’s given me a standard for Arabella & Darin, too.

Sometimes it’s hard to not do all I want with Redeemed or meet up with friends like I had the freedom to during the day. But it definitely feels like this is a job I can do well if I make a commitment to do the tasks I know are needed each week.