Category Archives: Caring for my family

Feeling stupid not generalizing

So this week, I had 2 typical experiences in new settings in close enough time, that they shined light on each other….

  1. Darin went to day camp and got in lots of trouble the 1st day. Then I figured out he didn’t have 1-on-1 support, that was added, and he was able to continue with daycamp.
  2. We tried putting Darin in a class at church, so we could listen to the sermon, and he lasted 10 mins… and Joel missed the rest of the service sitting in the hall with him.

And it clicked for me:
Church is the only setting where we try to put him in a class without 1-on-1 support, pretending in that setting he is typical.
We don’t do it at school, or day camp, or VBS.
But week after week, we are shocked it goes terrible at church.

Unfortunately, this realization was not accompanied by a solution.

Interestingly, the sermon at the church we visited today was about Act 6:1-13, where the 1st church had to address unmet needs within the church.

I wish this didn’t feel like a unique need that not everyone shares. I don’t want to be the one with the need.

What are other special needs kids doing within small churches?

A year in Maine

Have you ever been on a vacation & wished you could stay longer?

This year has been like an extended vacation for me. It’s my first year not to work full-time since Holden was 1 yr old.

It has truly been the best way to see Maine – river swimming in the summer, fire-building outside as the leaves change, hibernating for the winter in ‘Narnia’, and now watching the green & pink explode.
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But the best part has been getting to know the people here. They live and think distinctly different than I’ve ever lived. They value things I have never known.

While moving back and forth across the country was an expensive way to experience this, I am so thankful for this year.

Life Redesign – Goal 4: Review of OnceAMonthMeals.com

I tried out Once A Month cooking using Once A Month Meals Traditional Menu – January 2014. 20140205-105525.jpg

Pros:

  • It has been really nice to have food to take out of the freezer for dinner.
  • Most of the meals have been really tasty.

Cons:

  • The calculations on both the shopping list & the recipes were not 100% accurate. Probably 80%… but when you are cooking for 8-10 hrs, 20% can be very frustrating.
    • The biggest deal has been portions for eating – meals that had me put one recipe in 4 gallon bags only have fed 3-4 people. So I should have realized when it said “10 servings” on the recipe, I should put it in 2 gallon bags – only getting 2 dinners, not 4 out of it.
    • The most confusing part was that they had me cook a certain # of lbs of each meat ahead of time, but it was portioned in recipes in cups… So it didn’t spread out quite right. Luckily, I had frozen precooked chicken in my freezer…

Overall, I think the method is good… I think the recipes & variety are great!

I’ll probably try it one more time to see how it goes.

Life Redesign – Goal 3: Begin spending time getting to know the hearts of women in my church – 1 month report & New Goal 5: Get consistent with bible study.

Mixed reviews on this one…

I have really enjoyed meeting for lunch with several ladies from church. I was really excited when I got invited to lunch with 3 ladies… I hadn’t realized how much initiating I had been doing.

Several ladies got together to plan a bible study. They are open to trying my beloved method through Kay Arthur’s Precept Ministries International of inductive bible study. But to do that, I’ve got to step up and lead it… which also means I have to keep up with my homework! I’ve spent my 10 years attending Precept bible studies at Houston’s First Baptist Church and Sagemont Church, and since I worked full-time, I never made myself do all the homework.
So this is good for me… I need to do the homework. I have the time. I need to make it important.
So we will be doing Matthew Chapters 1-13 for the next 8 weeks.20140205-102400.jpg

I guess this meets Goal 5: Get consistent with bible study

This month has also been hard. I have experience some spiritual attack that made me want to walk away. I have put myself out there and been criticized, and I realize it would be so much easier to leave the church work to Joel.

Then I must remember:
I was called to follow The Lord and minister with my life BEFORE Joel. Before kids.

I don’t have the option to turn away. Turning away will be like deciding not to be me.

Our adoption stories

Here are the stories of our adoption:

  1. When Darin joined our family
  2. Making adjustments for Darin
  3. Ode to Darin’s birth mother
  4. Missing Darin’s birth mother

Adoption in movies

One of my favorite thing in movies is seeing adoption as a subplot, not the focus.

I appreciate this since it normalizes adoption, decreasing the stigma that family is blood and adoption is weird.

Some of my favorites are:

But I recently saw a Facebook post by my friend Nancy that added another perspective to the adoption movie conversation:
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At first, I was confused. I also have an adopted child, and love Despicable Me.

But then I thought about Hannah’s experience of being in a orphanage.

I realized that while I love that society can see adoption stories in movie, parts of the stories may be too close to home for a child joining a new family.

Always good to gain perspective!

Back to my organizing principle

Remembering why I need a life redesign:

On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur.

quoted by Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, pg 66